Description: I had been awake for four some-odd days taking speed with Ryan and his friends as we watched Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me over and over and over with saucer-wide eyes.

The phone rang and we were all too paranoid to answer. When the machine picked up and the caller began speaking to leave a message, I was convinced that it was the police officer who had made me his cause during my senior year of high school calling to read me the riot act.

I enlisted help in covering the windows with large towels and blankets so no one could see inside. Ryan stood beside me as I staple-gunned a blanket to the trim of the front bay window, rubbed his chin thoughtfully then looked at me to remark more than ask, "You're fucking crazy, you know that?"

Description: It's October again and I can't sleep.

I spend my non-working waking hours making compilation CDs, playing Lego Batman, and teaching my niece to shake her baby dolls by their ankles and yell, "SHUT UP BABY - GO TO SLEEP".

I need a nap.

Would you hand me that deck of cards?

Description: I don't know about you, but I'm confused.

Description: I've been the Queen of Hearts for Halloween going on 4 years now. If I could figure out how to legally behead people, I'd wear the costume every day.

Description: Every autumn, I go through an approximate six-week period of insomnia.

Here are the songs that take the edge off of the cranky/crazy that results.

Description: Simply put: songs about sex, drugs, and hate.

Description: What's that smell?

Description: I made this mix for my friend, Acacia. It's chock full of songs I know she'll just love. They all share a similar mood/theme of loss or feeling lost.

Description: A true tale of puppy love gone awry. (If you know where the cover art came from, I love you a lot.)

Description: I hate to fly. Like, a lot. HATE. So I drive anywhere I need to go and make any excuse in the book to avoid leaving the continent. These are the songs that find their way to the stereo every time I take a road trip, which is at least once every two months because I'm a spaz who cannot be still.

Description: It's a good thing that my parents were such pack rats, or I would have never had such an awesome record collection to swipe when I left home. I love every one of these songs today as much as I did when I first hear them. Enjoy.

Description: What you could find in my tape collection between 1987 and 1989. Sadly, most of these are still around...somewhere.

Description: For those who self-loathe and only feel whole when part of a pair, no matter how wrong and dysfunctional that pair may be.

Description: Simply put: songs about sex and drugs.

Description: For those nights when you want to take a handful of valium and choke on your own vomit to the sound of deep and soothing voices.

Description: For those nights when you want to sink into the bathtub and slit your wrists to ethereal and lulling voices.

Description: Whenever we'd hear some of these songs, this guy I knew would claim that they reminded him of me. He never explained why even after prodding with various sharp implements so I could only assume that he was mocking me. The rest of the songs remind me of him.

Description: Another smarmy mix made around Valentine's Day a few years ago. The actual CDs I made had the tracks interspersed with snippets from Clerks and The Big Lebowski. They also were mailed out with cookies, because I'm (not above bribery) awesome.

Description: Nothing like a bad breakup to bring out your inner mixtape mastery. RIP, jerkface. You may not be dead, but you're dead to me.

Description: While cruising through OK Cupid one night, I became sickly amused and eye-rolly by the things that people had written in their profile (some of which are posted as artwork to this mix). I put together the smarmiest, neediest, and most sarcastic songs I could think of, and well. Yeah.

Description: The age-old war of boys against girls battled via music.

Description: I heard the first track in a movie I hadn't seen in a while and it snowballed from there.