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Calamity Conway's Aural Assault

Calamity Conway's Aural Assault
Created by:	Number_Six
Tracks:	15
Length:	00:59:42
Keywords	1. Mix Contest 7 2. Mix Contest 7 3. Mix Contest 7
Created on	12/12/06 1:46pm
Level	5
Points	2459
Total visitors	81
Unique visitors	44
This mix was ranked #7 out of 28 entries for this contest

description:

In my opinion, if you want to really nail a mix like this, taste has to go out the window. In fact, if you've strived to make a potpouri or Frankenstein mix listenable, then you're going in the wrong direction. Your mix, much like the great monster, should be quite hideous, bordering on unlistenable. However, the masses enjoy disaster movies, they gawk endlessly at mangled cars on the side of the highway and burning carpet factories, so if you can make your mix an utter catastrophe, folks will listen all the way through... just to hear what hits 'em next.

tracklist

1	Manic Street Preachers : 1985
	An elegant, swooning, melancholic opener that manages to trump the best New Order, U2, and The Smiths had to offer us in the 80's. The lyrics are sublime too - "So God is dead, like Nietzsche said. Superstition is all we have left..." SHOW MORE
	Track 1 from Lifeblood Length: 00:04:07 Year: 2004
	Track Description: An elegant, swooning, melancholic opener that manages to trump the best New Order, U2, and The Smiths had to offer us in the 80's. The lyrics are sublime too - "So God is dead, like Nietzsche said. Superstition is all we have left..." SHOW LESS
2	Lair of the Minotaur : The Wolf
	A Song About Animals: However, if the previous song was able to put you into a nice, relaxed mood, allow doom metal band Lair of the Minotaur to take you out of that reverie and take you to an unholy place to batter your skull into submission. LotM are basically the second coming of Celtic Frost, with a little bit of 1st edition AD&D-esque humour thrown in for kicks. SHOW MORE
	Track 2 from Carnage Length: 00:06:47
	Track Description: A Song About Animals: However, if the previous song was able to put you into a nice, relaxed mood, allow doom metal band Lair of the Minotaur to take you out of that reverie and take you to an unholy place to batter your skull into submission. LotM are basically the second coming of Celtic Frost, with a little bit of 1st edition AD&D-esque humour thrown in for kicks. SHOW LESS
3	Thin Lizzy : Jailbreak
	A Song That Makes You Want To Commit A Felony: This song makes me want to commit a felony just so I can escape, much like the song implies, and pick up all those willing women that Phil Lynott so easily ensnared. SHOW MORE
	Track 3 from Jailbreak Length: 00:04:04 Year: 1976
	Track Description: A Song That Makes You Want To Commit A Felony: This song makes me want to commit a felony just so I can escape, much like the song implies, and pick up all those willing women that Phil Lynott so easily ensnared. SHOW LESS
4	Barry White : I'm Qualified To Satisfy You
	A Song About Sex: Barry White gives this mix a bit of class. However, the juxtaposition from this to the next track is ever so slightly jarring... SHOW MORE
	Track 4 from All Time Greatest Hits Length: 00:03:12
	Track Description: A Song About Sex: Barry White gives this mix a bit of class. However, the juxtaposition from this to the next track is ever so slightly jarring... SHOW LESS
5	Anthrax : Madhouse
	A Song Michael Bolton Should Cover: That's right... look, we may as well admit it: Bolton is a closet 'Thrax fan. Couldn't you just see him up on stage now, making the ladies sweat with that poofy mullet and his abnormally sized forehead, crooning into the microphone "It's a madhouse... I'm INSAAAAANE!!!!" Well, I could anyway... SHOW MORE
	Track 5 from The Greater of Two Evils Length: 00:04:26 Year: 2004
	Track Description: A Song Michael Bolton Should Cover: That's right... look, we may as well admit it: Bolton is a closet 'Thrax fan. Couldn't you just see him up on stage now, making the ladies sweat with that poofy mullet and his abnormally sized forehead, crooning into the microphone "It's a madhouse... I'm INSAAAAANE!!!!" Well, I could anyway... SHOW LESS
6	Terry Bradshaw : Dimestore Jesus
	The Worst Song In The World: Folks, you've dropped the ball on this subject thus far. This is far worse than Regis Philbin's Christmas album, way scarier than Telly Savalas doing country songs, hell, this song is more frightening than the prospect of having to wax the chest and back hair off of Bob Hoskins and Robin Williams at the same time! I speak of course about one of the ill-fated albums by ex-NFL great and current Fox Sports analyst, Terry Bradshaw. The cover of 'Until You', with Bradshaw posed, looking goofy as ever, in a blatantly obvious hairpiece should be enough to scare you away, but if you dare put this contaminated LP on your record player and make it all the way to "Dimestore Jesus", you're sure to be in for a fright of ghoulish proportions. There's really not much else I can say about this song, other than... AWFUL! SHOW MORE
	Track 6 from Until You Length: 00:03:40 Year: 1981
	Track Description: The Worst Song In The World: Folks, you've dropped the ball on this subject thus far. This is far worse than Regis Philbin's Christmas album, way scarier than Telly Savalas doing country songs, hell, this song is more frightening than the prospect of having to wax the chest and back hair off of Bob Hoskins and Robin Williams at the same time! I speak of course about one of the ill-fated albums by ex-NFL great and current Fox Sports analyst, Terry Bradshaw. The cover of 'Until You', with Bradshaw posed, looking goofy as ever, in a blatantly obvious hairpiece should be enough to scare you away, but if you dare put this contaminated LP on your record player and make it all the way to "Dimestore Jesus", you're sure to be in for a fright of ghoulish proportions. There's really not much else I can say about this song, other than... AWFUL! SHOW LESS
7	Spice Girls : 2 Become 1
	Wildcard: Your Guilty Pleasure: That's right... you just went from Barry White to Anthrax to Bradshaw to THE SPICE GIRLS! You're looking a little queasy there, maggot! Looks like you wanna go home and cry to your momma! You wanna go home and cry to mommy?! What's that? I CAN'T HEAR YOU MAGGOT!!! Drop and give me twenty!!! Ahem. Yeah, man. The Spice Girls. They were pretty hot ten years ago. SHOW MORE
	Track 7 from Spice Length: 00:04:01 Year: 1996
	Track Description: Wildcard: Your Guilty Pleasure: That's right... you just went from Barry White to Anthrax to Bradshaw to THE SPICE GIRLS! You're looking a little queasy there, maggot! Looks like you wanna go home and cry to your momma! You wanna go home and cry to mommy?! What's that? I CAN'T HEAR YOU MAGGOT!!! Drop and give me twenty!!! Ahem. Yeah, man. The Spice Girls. They were pretty hot ten years ago. SHOW LESS
8	robert johnson : Preachin' Blues (Up Jumped the Devil)
	"If Snoop Dogg's 'Doggystyle' Came Out In 1944": Robert Johnson, adding a bit more class to this mix desperately in need of some. SHOW MORE
	Track 8 from Complete Collection Length: 00:02:53
	Track Description: "If Snoop Dogg's 'Doggystyle' Came Out In 1944": Robert Johnson, adding a bit more class to this mix desperately in need of some. SHOW LESS
9	Oasis : The Meaning of Soul
	A Song A song for punching out your brother or a nosey photographer if I've ever heard one. SHOW MORE
	Track 9 from Don't Believe The Truth Length: 00:01:44 Year: 2005
	Track Description: A Song A song for punching out your brother or a nosey photographer if I've ever heard one. SHOW LESS
10	Mansun : Six (Arthur Baker remix)
	A Remix Better Than The Original: Don't get me wrong, in it's original form, "Six" is a sprawling, insanely complex tune that goes in about ten different directions. The album as a whole certainly had an impact on later day Radiohead records and the guys who would eventually go on to form The Mars Volta hold a torch for this album too. But the version released in the US of A needed at least something resembling a single so the album could attempt to penetrate college radio. What we go was a remix of the title track, which somehow turned this semi-epic into a rip-roaring pop-rock song with some glorious Queen-esque harmonising thrown in for good measure. Coming from a music fan who nine times out of ten HATES a remixed version of a song, that's something. It's better than the original. SHOW MORE
	Track 10 from Six [US version] Length: 00:03:57 Year: 1998
	Track Description: A Remix Better Than The Original: Don't get me wrong, in it's original form, "Six" is a sprawling, insanely complex tune that goes in about ten different directions. The album as a whole certainly had an impact on later day Radiohead records and the guys who would eventually go on to form The Mars Volta hold a torch for this album too. But the version released in the US of A needed at least something resembling a single so the album could attempt to penetrate college radio. What we go was a remix of the title track, which somehow turned this semi-epic into a rip-roaring pop-rock song with some glorious Queen-esque harmonising thrown in for good measure. Coming from a music fan who nine times out of ten HATES a remixed version of a song, that's something. It's better than the original. SHOW LESS
11	Steve Hackett : The Lunatic, The Lover & The Poet
	A Song From The Last Record You Purchased: This was my most recent purchase from emusic. I've always liked Gabriel-era Genesis, but recently I've discovered just how great some of Steve Hackett's solo work is. This album was a collaboration with the guitarist and the London Philharmonic, apparently his own vision of a score to Shakespeare's work. It's good stuff, a nice soundtrack for book reading. SHOW MORE
	Track 11 from A Midsummer Night's Dream Length: 00:04:14 Year: 1997
	Track Description: A Song From The Last Record You Purchased: This was my most recent purchase from emusic. I've always liked Gabriel-era Genesis, but recently I've discovered just how great some of Steve Hackett's solo work is. This album was a collaboration with the guitarist and the London Philharmonic, apparently his own vision of a score to Shakespeare's work. It's good stuff, a nice soundtrack for book reading. SHOW LESS
12	Game Over : Little Mac's Confession
	A Song That References Video Games: And we follow up the classical stuff with a bit of Göteborg metal. If you haven't heard Game Over's heavy metal renditions of classic Nintendo themes, you owe it to yourself to track their stuff down NOW! If you spent as much time as I did in my childhood playing Punch-Out!!, you'll know the themes by heart, but not only does Game Over adapt the theme into some metalic riffage, they also add some quasi-serious lyrics to turn a once cute childhood memory into something a bit more dramatic, as Little Mac relates to his trainer Doc that he cannot overcome the champion Mr. Dream: "Doc, I know I've let you down. 'Cause you counted on me. But David beating Goliath just was not meant to be." SHOW MORE
	Track 12 from Nintendo Metal Length: 00:04:27
	Track Description: A Song That References Video Games: And we follow up the classical stuff with a bit of Göteborg metal. If you haven't heard Game Over's heavy metal renditions of classic Nintendo themes, you owe it to yourself to track their stuff down NOW! If you spent as much time as I did in my childhood playing Punch-Out!!, you'll know the themes by heart, but not only does Game Over adapt the theme into some metalic riffage, they also add some quasi-serious lyrics to turn a once cute childhood memory into something a bit more dramatic, as Little Mac relates to his trainer Doc that he cannot overcome the champion Mr. Dream: "Doc, I know I've let you down. 'Cause you counted on me. But David beating Goliath just was not meant to be." SHOW LESS
13	Tiger Tunes : Kirsten Is A Fuckmachine
	A Song With A Swear Word In The Title: Our protagonist whines about hooking up with a total slut who manages to steal his bike and knock his teeth out. Sounds like my kind of woman. SHOW MORE
	Track 13 from Absolutely Worthless Compared To Important Books Length: 00:02:53
	Track Description: A Song With A Swear Word In The Title: Our protagonist whines about hooking up with a total slut who manages to steal his bike and knock his teeth out. Sounds like my kind of woman. SHOW LESS
14	Radiohead : Let Down
	The Song That Got You Through High School: Nuff said about this album already... but if I didn't have it during my high school years, I don't know how I would have got through it all. SHOW MORE
	Track 14 from OK Computer Length: 00:04:59 Year: 1997
	Track Description: The Song That Got You Through High School: Nuff said about this album already... but if I didn't have it during my high school years, I don't know how I would have got through it all. SHOW LESS
15	Bruce Dickinson : Arc of Space
	Your Favorite Album Closer: The Frank Sinatra of metal, the air raid siren, the greatest singer rock music has ever had the pleasure of knowing - Bruce Dickinson. Put aside all your preconceptions if you're not a metal fan, and get over it if you're a diehard headbanger - this is a stunningly beautiful ballad, and certainly the best album closer I've ever heard. SHOW MORE
	Track 15 from Accident of Birth Length: 00:04:18
	Track Description: Your Favorite Album Closer: The Frank Sinatra of metal, the air raid siren, the greatest singer rock music has ever had the pleasure of knowing - Bruce Dickinson. Put aside all your preconceptions if you're not a metal fan, and get over it if you're a diehard headbanger - this is a stunningly beautiful ballad, and certainly the best album closer I've ever heard. SHOW LESS