Description: Lets get fucked up mix---2/25/09
Epic proportions of awesome fucking fun!

Description: Truman
Albert, you make fun of everyon and everything and then act like you deserve an award for it. That's just not right. Get out of here before I do something I won't regret. Again.

Albert (smiles)
While I will admit to a certian cynicism, the fact of the matter is I'm merely a naysayer and hatchet man in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and would gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Ghandi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. I love you, Sheriff Truman

Description: Honey nut cheerios eatin', shotgun toting, farmer in the dell whistling' badass mother fucker. Raised with a stick moral code, this ghetto robin hood is going to bring it to the sinners double barrel style.
Omar Devone Little is resurrected by Jehovah himself, as the muscle in this mix of divine justice. Sinners beware, this saint walks the line.
7 baddass tracks for the number of the lord.

Description:




























































































































































































































*There's no such thing as a infinite playlist, Dave coulier and John Stamos are trademark characters of Buena Vista Television.

Description: I've always been a huge comic book fan and recently I've dug around for some of my old comics at my moms house, and started reading the fantasy "what if" type of books that usually presuppose a hero or villans origin.
I've made a mix with the concept that "what if" Tallon had the power of The Hulk, what kind of mix would I listen to if I was the strongest, most powerful being on the known earth.
The origin of Tallon hulk begins in a desert, sceientists are testing the incredible G-bomb. Tallon has just driven out to the desert to relax and play the hermonica, to get away from it all. this unexpected event has the lead sceintist Dr. Bruce Banner running out to the test site to save the young man. It's too late, although many miles away Tallon is bathed in the full force of the mysterious gamma rays! The world seems to stand still, trembling on the brink of infinity, as his ear-splitting sream fills the air...and he is still screaming hours later, when he awakens in a hosptial. Everyone around is amazed he survives, even though he absorbed the full impact of the g-rays.
Nightfall begins and something starts to happen to Tallon, the clicking of a Geiger counter near-bye becomes louder, and faster. Tallon's skin begins to itch and crawl he's becoming The Incredble Hulk!

Description: I'm drinking tea, getting ready to work out, thinking about work later. A comfortable routine that I hardly have anything to complain about (beside this stupid fucking diet I put myself on---Oatmeal and egg whites every morning is a bummer).
It's all monotonous compared to the trip I went on last month to Frankfurt and Amsterdam with my girlfriend, everyday something new and unexpected happened. I was excited like I haven't been for a long time.

Description: Yesterday
I just did my taxes and owe over four hundred to state and federal, my bar tab is ridiculous (I think I broke a record for the biggest employee bar tab, it's around five hundred in less then a month), I have no money because I'm saving to go on a trip next month, I gave up caffeine (I have no idea why) and have headaches when I get up in the morning. My phone is a piece of shit ( I guess I shouldn’t of put it in the washer those few times), I can’t really call anyone, not that it matters (I work seven days a week, and have no time to do anything but drink myself silly).
Today
I just woke up, made this mix, walked to Starbucks to get some fucking green tea, read part of my book, walked around some more, tried not to run into anybody annoying, thought of my friends but couldn’t call them, wrote down a list of films I want to see, walked around some more and tired to look unapproachable (but not too much, I still want strangers to think I'm cool when I walk by-sarcasm-), Came back home, played some video games, drinking some water, thinking about having a PBR (my cousin left a shit load of booze, trying not drink so early, but I’m bored), and I’m here trying to put out this mix instead of drinking, awwwwwwwwww, okay…*Beer opens* (I can do both).
Tommrow
Is another Day...to drink.

Description: It's not from a time in my life, but I was inspired to make a mix based on the David Sedaris excerpt "The Youth In Asia" from the book Me Talk Pretty One Day. The first song that came into my mind for the mix was Tea for the Tillerman by Cat Stevens, the rest of the mix is more or less songs that evoke the same feelings that I get when I read the excerpt.

"Bring tea for the Tillerman
Steak for the sun
Wine for the women who made the rain come
Seagulls sing your hearts away
'Cause while the sinners sin, the children play

Oh Lord how they play and play
For that happy day, for that happy day"

Description: This contest is a great Idea, I actually made a mix yesterday to listen to while puttering around the house, wrapping presents, a little holiday treat for myself.
That same night some friends came over, we started drinking, I cooked some food, we turned off the telly, and all started to feel that champagne buzz.
Somebody had the brilliant Idea to play pictionary, we all agreed that it would be fun, even though it would be three couples, a competitive game and an seemingly endless supply of alcohol (4 bottles of champagne, two bottles of wine, a fifth of vodka, half rack of PBR, half rack of Heineken, and little bit of whiskey sitting on the bottom of the bottle).
I put my personal holiday mix on repeat, then we all raised our glasses, had a holiday cheer, and the game began.
I'll give you some quick stats on the players, grouped by couples

Tallon&Amber

Strengths: Tallon is good at distracting people, Amber is intelligent and thoughtful.

Weakness: Tallon is an asshole, Amber gets drunk easily

Chime&Channel
Strengths: Chime and Channel are new lovers, but they have a connection like Scott Summers and Jean Gray.

Weaknesses: Chimes goofiness distracts Channels usual "attention to detail" frame of mind

Kenzo&Annie
Strengths: Been together for the longest out of the whole group, they know they subtle shit that young relationships lacks, so basically they are the Gandalf of couples in this game, I guess, sounds funny to me.

Weakness: Annie can be flighty when she is drunk; Kenzo is competitive and doesn't like “20 questions" from Annie when he's trying to concentrate.

The end result, I made an ass of my self, lost the game and passed out on the couch, nobody woke me up. Jerks.

Description: A few days ago I had a dream that I came up with a brilliant idea for a small business I was going to start. It was a portable sushi bar that I put in an old converted mail truck.
I wanted to cut cost in my dream, so I wouldn't have to spend a ton of money on complicated sushi rolls, or sake, or gasoline. I racked my brains in my dream, trying to think of something that would sell. I had an idea to sell only beer and sushi and follow music festivals, moving from festival to a catering vendor when business was slow.
I laughed to myself in my dream. What a crazy hipster idea, maybe I should just sell pabst blue ribbon and call it the blue velvet. I got excited in my dream and woke myself up.
When I woke up, I thought of funny shit that would make the business possible (When I woke up, I had a power bar and a glass of pinot Gris). I thought of funny food that could be on the menu, the beamount roll, Booth roll, Vallas roll, sandy tempura, the yellow suit sashimi, velvet miso, ECT.
Sushi and pabst, hipster kids would eat it up, I even thought of having Frank booth holding his gas mask to his face, airbrushed on the side of the truck, next to the truck name The Blue Velvet.
I hoped on Itunes and made a mix for myself, of what I would listen to in my dream world when I was selling sushi; this is the mix I made.

Description: Aww meth, what a crazy drug. I've never done it myself and I don't think I ever will, but since many of my family members use it, I live in a dark world vicariously through their crazy stories of using and wanting more.
A cousin who I grew up with is a user who goes in and out of rehab frequently. This mix is dedicated to his crazy meth related experiences. I chose the heaviest single track I could find that could find to match the craziness of my cousin's story and I wanted to try a hand at the challenging one track mixtape.
My cousin grew up on The Rez, almost all of his drug related problems/stories stem from that terrible place. My cousin had been seeing one of my uncle’s ex-girlfriend for a few days while both were on a meth binge. While tweaked out of his mind, after smoking an 8ball my cousin and his girlfriend decided to walk down to the gas station store and grab some soda. He said that out of nowhere our uncle and a friend came around a corner driving full speed towards them with the driver slamming on the breaks before hitting them. I guess our uncle jumped right out of the car and confronted my cousin (he said that our unlce he was "gacked" as well). In the confrontation our uncle punched my cousin in the face angering him. My cousins a big guy for 5'9 weighing in at 250 lbs (when doing meth), I've seen him personally knock out at least 5 people in my life (He has heavy hands and has a short temper to match). Compare that with this certain Uncle who is 5'6 and while tweaking weighed 140lbs. My cousin goes onto say that he punched our uncle in the face breaking his jaw. At this point he said his girlfriend was going crazy yelling and being stupid bitch (his words), while the driver was yelling at my uncle to hurry up and leave. My cousin goes on to explain the craziest thing he's seen while fighting, my uncle jumps back up immediately and punches my cousin in the face again then running away this time. He then begin to pick up pieces of pavement from a crumbled sidewalk and started throwing it at my cousins head, apparently after that they got into a sidewalk throwing fight, cutting each others face pretty badly. My uncle then jumps out of the car and they leave the way they showed up, driving full speed. My cousin, not looking for trouble while being in that state, fled with his girlfriend back to her trailer (no joke).
While cleaning up his mess of a face, my cousin says that our uncle showed up trying to break into the house, when he couldn't get in he grabbed a weed whacker and proceeded to break out all of the trailer windows. Fed up with our uncle, my cousin went outside with a baseball bat to scare our uncle away. As soon as he stepped out of the trailer my uncle hit him in the with the weed whacker (holding backwards). My cousin said that he hit my uncle in the side with the baseball bat, (breaking three of his ribs) sending him back against a small tree that was next to the trailer. Before my uncle could recover, my cousin says he hit my uncle on top of the head causing blood to splatter all over the tree. My cousin ended up giving my uncle a concussion, almost killing him. This incident caused a lot of uproar in my family dividing it for some time.
In recent news I heard my cousin was stabbed five time by somebody's girlfriend (supposedly he was beating her boyfriend half to death). Crazy people, crazy mix to match..

Description: The history of my family hasn't been pretty in any respect and most of us are fuck-ups. My sister and I had grown up in an abusive environment, that I believe still haunts both of us. Without getting into it to much, She was basically the person I've felt the closest to while growing up, and now in my adult life, she's the last person I want to see.
We'd grown apart in our teenage years, due to her blossoming into womanhood and becoming popular with the thuggish type. She became pregnant when she was 18, then gave birth the coolest people eva, my niece Lola, and more recently my nephew Gio. My sister could care less and this is why I don't want anything to do with her. It's sad, I miss her but the things she's doing with her life are unacceptable to me. She does hard drugs and I believe she's dating a trucker (since the last time we talked). Anyway I made this mix, trying to express my overall feeling about our relationship.

Description: The picture is of my friend Ursula and I. She is rock awesome. Ursula is one of my favorite people in the world, she's been called her the Peruvian lesbian version of myself (by me). We share a lot of things in common, she likes women and we can talk about sex/relationship issues. She has a great sense of humor and great taste in music. She calls me a stupid mutha fucka, and she's not afraid to me that I suck dick. I love that in a person. She DJ's in clubs around the Miraflores area and loves to recieve Mixtapes with tracks similar to these.
I made this mix for her B-day that passed last month, I'm finally getting around to mailing it to her today, thought I'd post it.

Description: I decided to make my own random play list using word association to help make it super-ultra-rad-random, but for shits sake I'll make up a story so you might be mildly entertained.

Legend has it that Tallon was born 8 feet and weighed 300lbs, his appetite for making mixes was even bigger then he was. He was known all over the internet for making the most random and exquisite mixes ever made. No man could match his taste and knowledge of music. Some say that anyone of his mixes, after one listen could make Jehovah shed a single tear (that would cure all of the baby aids in Africa). Unfortunately for those poor aids infested babies god doesn’t exist. Back to the story about me...um yeah and he could do all sorts of awesome things and shit like that. Hold on, I have to google the story of John hennery, I'm kinda biasing this crappy story on his crappy story, I'll be right back, I mean brb...





Kay, M'back. So this computer guy who was basically a salesmen for this new product called a I-pod, put a out challenge saying that his machine could defeat any human being in a making more random mixes contest. The salesmen was a real sleaze ball (you could tell by the fancy suit he had on, oh and he had a Hitler stash that was blood red, and he pointed a little kids until they cried).
Story goes that he put the I pod on random or shuffle, eventually a rad montage ensued where Tallon made all of these mixes, managing to win the contest but die in the end (because his dick was way to huge---I mean ego, he was a big dick though---Me, I was talking about myself), shit I have to stop smoking pot, This seemed like a great Idea when I was high. I'll come back to it.

WOW, oh my god, this is shit.

I'll start the mix with that word (shit) what comes to mind when I think of shit...hmmm

Description: Eric made mention of O.J. Simpson in the this Mixtape contest description, I thought it was a perfect mix concept. I could make Wedding/Funeral mix, then I thought about it and decided to stick with a funeral mix. Here's transcript from O.J.'s Book, "If I did it"---Which he did---This is Nicole and Ron's Funeral mix---

Opening of the manuscript
I'm going to tell you a story you've never heard before, because no one knows this story the way I know it. It takes place on the night June 12, 1994, and it concerns the murder of my ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her young friend, Ronald Goldman. I want you to forget everything you think you know about that night because I know the facts better than anyone. I know the players. I've seen the evidence. I've heard the theories. And, of course, I've read all the stories: That I did it. That I did it but I don't know I did it. That I can no longer tell fact from fiction. That I wake up in the middle of the night, consumed by guilt, screaming.---He did it---

Description: This is the second mixtape in a series of mixes I made based on my favorite music artists selection on my MTC profile page. I'm still hesitant to put out this mix, I know that there are a lot of MCD fans out thier and I just want to state that these are my favorite of thier songs based on my own personal taste (Hipster snobs can suck my dick if you don't have anything nice to say about the band). some of my favorite things about this band beside the actual music---Liner notes and cover for In Name and Blood, My Crush on Leslie Hardy/Cody Willis (A Homosexual Crush), and Spencer Moody's Yaggermister Drinking /Gabe their Roadie on thier Self Titled Documentary (Rock and Roll won't wait).
When I first heard the band I knew I was listening to something special, I had to listen to all of thier songs and cds. I've been in love with the band since, if you haven't heard the band, pick up a touchtone phone and dial 411 and look for the nearest compact disc near you (I was going for the book plug that the kids do at the end of reading rainbow).
I love all the tracks equally (Just like my mum loved all of my brothers and sisters, there were eight of us). The track list goes in the order in which I heard the tracks and or cds.

Description: Today at 2am today I became an uncle for the second time. My nephew is 8lbs and 21 inches, full head of hair. I made him a mix earlier today before I went to go see him. Making him his first mix is an honor, and having a decent taste in music will help him get laid latter in life (Joke).

Description: This mix is based on a true story...

These are songs that I made for a road trip that went bad. The story is exciting, liberating and tragic.

I'll start from the beginning.

I was a single line cook at a local dinner. At the time I always believed myself to be strong, independent, with a past trauma that has always haunted me and made me feel a little emotional at times.
Christopher was a Jehovah’s Witness, married to a controlling and domineering wife named Danny. We had met by accident one day after I had left work. I was fed up with the treatment at my work and decided to get out of town for a few days. On my way out of town, after going home to pack (Clothes, a mix-this one-, and a gun -for protection-), I almost ran into a Christopher. He was Inline skating, making his bible rounds. I offered him a ride and little did either of us know what sort of crazy predicaments we'd be getting into to.
It turns out that he'd been really fed up with his wife and he just wanted to get away (it was easy to persuade him after tricking him into smoking a joint---I told him it was a lung cleanser totally legal in the state). After an hour of talking, I had Chris convinced that god didn't exist and it was bullshit that his wife hadn't put out.
We'd only be gone on this road trip for as long as the mix lasted, convincing Chris to become somebody else for this small amount of time.

At a roadhouse where we stop to unwind, Chris meets a handsome man named Ribs. After knocking back a few O’Doul’s amber. Chris convinced he's drunk, Walks outside with ribs. He tries to rape Chris until I show up. Ribs tell me that they "were just having a little itty bitty of fun". I tell ribs that "he's a Jehovah’s Witness, you sick fuck". I pull out the gun and tell him to get away from Chris. He tells me that he "should of corn holed his righteous hole". With anger I fire and accidentally kill Ribs. Chris wants us to give ourselves to the police, convinced we'd be hanged, I tell Chris that we need to run and leave. "Nobody’s going to believe a Native American and a Jehovah’s Witness". We flee the crime scene.
With a pack of cheese sticks some Dr.Pepper and a mix, we decide to go to Mexico. On the way, at a gas station we met a gorgeous man named George. I began to fall fast for this fresh out of jail rebel. He hops a ride with us and we continue on our way. With funds running low Chris asks Danny to send his after life savings through western union. She denies him the money, and we resort to robbing stores after a tutorial given to us by gorgeous gorge. After an awesome montage sequence of us robbing people and looking cool. We make enough money to make it to Mexico (Cheese sticks aren't cheap). After a night of lover’s passionate kissies, I fall asleep in George’s arms. Sleeping like the baby Jesus. Chris wakes me up, informing me that all along we had been followed the F.B.I., he saw it on T.V., and that handsome stranger took all of the loot. Feeling guilty and out of it, Chris in an uncharacteristic move, takes control of the situation. He put what was happening (his character change and growth) in to simple words for me. "You know Tallon, my people have a saying."

Our actions began to get out of control, what once was a liberating experience has become a dangerous game of dogs and cats. To show how out of control we had become (for example). This truck driver at another truck stop was making kissy faces at us so we blew the fucking shit out of his truck. Pretty out of control huh? At the end of this story, we had nowhere to go, no money and no options, and nowhere to go, oh and were at the Grand cannon and there are all these police behind us and their totally going to get us. It's decided that were going to go out together (by driving over the cliff). We give each other a friendly kiss and begin to drive towards the edge. Then I decide that this is really fucking stupid, so I jump out of the car, and let Chris die by himself. It's okay though he's probably in heaven. I made it back to my house just in time to watch lost, right as the mix ended.
It's always nice to get away, even if it's just for a couple of hours. Enjoy the mix now.

Description: The first in a series of mixes I made based on my favorite music artists selection on my MTC profile page, I chose to put out my Mogwai mix first, for no real reason. The mixes and songs aren't in a order at all, but they are my favorite songs by the artists in the mix.
I put the tracks in a order to kind of reflect the Mogwai sound, trying to contrast the soft/loud-Loud/soft sound that these guys are known for.

Description: I'm walking home and nothing would please me more then to cuddle with you. I know a kitten will never share the same complex emotions as a human (as far as I know). I walk down this street and think of nothing more important then you, you pop into my mind and I decided to make a mix to show you today. I hope you'll like it and give me much praise and cuddles.

p.s

I asked everbody I worked with when they would perish, and they thought that you would last longer then all of them. I hope there right.

Description: This is a "Go to sleep mix" for our friend Bea. Though I couldn't put on the actual mix that I had envisioned (A mix, with songs that match the actual time of a persons R.E.M.) because it'd be too long. I decided to make the mix with songs that help me sleep when, um....I'm sleepy. Shortest tracks to the longest and bestest. WORD.

Description: I Kat-napped this kitten and we love each other now. I made a mix to show everyone how much I love this adorable bugger. Sure I walk around town and see the missing kitten signs, who gives a fuck, he's mine now. If you don't like the mix then eat my kittens sack. Oh yeah...and no---this is the mix that we liste---(scratch that) this is our daily activities mix, a short description in each track, telling you jerks what we do every day until T-bag jr. the 2nd dies (hopefully defending me from crazied Oprah fans...Yeah).

Description: I've just got back from a run and was stretching, I was looking to download some music on I tunes to cool off in style and it recommended some music to me---I tunes Essential Alt Rock Workout---What a piece of shit it was, I decided to put my workout mix on this site, also there’s this douche bag for the cover of the mix, he has a tattoo (so you know he's Alt) What a piece of shit, Fuck you I tunes. Who has the advantage? Me, why? My mix has better music, it’s themed, and it’s about the right amount of daily exercise time suggested by McDonalds---I win and you Suck ass I tunes. I guess this a contest now---Linkin Park, Nirvana, Smashing Pumkins, Fall out boy, The Killers,WolfMother, Stone Temple Pilots, NIN, and the shitty list goes on---Work out to my mix instead of the I tunes mix---WORD!

Description: Tricked You---This isn't about Slater at all---Muwahahahaaa
I had planned to make my mix for the contest 13, with all of the requirements around songs for my favorite music videos---it didn't flow to well and I opted to just put out a mix with awesome descriptions---Unfortunately, I was way to drunk and finished the mix with no descriptions---(Sucks)---and I didn't want anybody to make fun of me for wearing out my Directors series Vol. 1 so here's some of my favorite music videos and why, please don't call me a Michel Gondry Nut hugger, I might fart in your mouth.

Description: My cat Samatha was murdered by sume fucking dosgs and I' don't what else to sat---I cried infront of a bunch of beople yesterday---

Description: I've never met anyone that I loved as much as I hated them, you'd fucking drive me crazy. I miss you but I can't see you.
This is a mix for my ex-girlfriend, I really fucking miss her and I want her to know that I love the shit out of her and um...yeah, its not that I think we should talk, but it'll make me feel better if I at least make it known through a mix. Word, hope everything is well and kick ass and shit (its obvious I haven't grown to much).

p.s. I still consider you my best fwend in the world

This is named after our first mix we had made together, Muscle Guts (No Duh)

Description: I've wanted to do a interview/co-op style mix with somebody for a while, most of them fell through until now, my buddy Ian, known as Sledgbrainerd, stepped up to the plate and we came up with two awesome mixes. Our questions and answers are in the track descriptions, bitches.

Description: Eric and Corey will find you asshole, you can count on that. I'll spell out whats going to happen to this asshole with this mix, just put together the first letters of each track name---Jerk.

Description: Do you smoke? I smoke and I've run out quite a few times when I've known I'd run out and should of re-upped. I know it's my own fault, at times when I really need when, when I'm craving a drag of delicious poison, some asshole does something to push me over the edge. It's nothing really that they can help, but get out of the way when you see me chewing on cigarette butts, trying to get one drop of nicotine.
I made this mix with songs that I listen to when I'm feeling as bad ass as Uncle Jesse's hair looks on full house.

Description: I smoke a lot of meth, my teeth are rotting and I think about killing myself most of the time. I made this mix to clean my house to. Enjoy.

Description: These are the most requested artists at my work---Klaxons, Arcade Fire, Regina Spector, Lily Allen, Modest Mouse, Kings Of Leon, Cold War Kids, shit like that---I made a mix that I sweared to play next time some shithead asked me to play any of these artists.

Description: There are a few reasons I decided to pick '07 over '97---The main reason being I didn't have sex until '98 (Kinda bummed that '98 was left out of the contest, I could of put down so many classics like Smashmouth, Tal Bachman, LFO, and all that awesom shit). Number Two, I didn't really have the choice of just sitting in my room drawing and listening to music between 90-97, I had to, nobody wanted to hang out with me, and I hadn't started to drink or use drugs yet, I've got to face that I was a pretty much a big loser (more so then now). The main downside of entering the competion for '07 would have to be the fact that Jeff Buckley, earlier Tool (anemia), and C & C music factory would be cut from my choices. Oh and the first Compact Disc I ever owned was Ace of Base-The Sign...My Mother Bought it for me in '95 for easter, thats actual the biggest reason why I want to represent '07. Fuck You Mom and Fuck You '97.
The tracks will go in a sequential order with oldest track first, commentary with facts and my memories of these songs, and the years they came out, with two tracks representing each year.

Description: To commemorate my first year in the mixtape collective and my 40th mix, I've decided to make a mix about my favorite character in the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, and possible one of my favorite T.V. characters of all time...Susie Greene. Vicious, Blunt, and Jewish.
There are so many reasons to love this character, personally I love the way she cuts down Larry and Jeff when there trying to lie or hide something. I compiled some of my favorite moments and put them to some kick ass jams. Booyah!

Description: I had made this mix before I went out to party with my friends for my birthday. Eric, Zach, and Jon Raby met up with me at the creekside bar and grill, then we left to the Honk Kong bar where I work to play the mix. It's Friday night and the bar is starting to pick up, there are a bunch of drunken girls acting annoying, jock douche bags, and pretentious hipsters hanging in the background talking shit about everybody. I had a Mix that would let all know, that we were the coolest guys there. Good conversations went down, my friends cracked me up, and I was able to play a mix that annoyed everybody but my friends and boss with its absurdity.
The concept is simple, stupid, and irreverent. I downloaded karaoke versions of my favorite TV. shows, and put it in contrast to my favorite songs of all time. What a hit, the mix really shows what kind of thoughtful person I am. I love me.

Description: My birthday is five days away, I’m turning 24. Seven years ago in the summer of '99 after Id just turned 17; John F. Kennedy Jr. was killed in a plane crash after flying into bad weather conditions. This made me contemplate my own mortality and what kind of shitty tribute video would play after I was dead (because I'll have one, or more). John-John unfortunately had one of the lamest tribute videos I have ever seen, almost as bad as any Jonathan Brandis Fan-boy tributes. Sarah McMahan’s "I Will Remember You" was voted the worst song of '99 by me. This song plays during a montage of John-John's most touching moments, I suppose. In a tribute I call bubble gum bullshit, the editors of this piece of shit play on peoples emotions to try to make them feel better or get ratings or whatever. Id sat around my house for most of that summer, getting high with my mother, Listening to music and coming up with my own tributes in my head. This mix is a collection of my own made up tribute montages for myself.
In all honesty I'd love to go out in fashion, wearing steel toed boots singing along to whole lotta love, disappearing into dark waters never to be scene alive again; leaving a melancholy legacy of promise and outstanding music that has critics and fan-boys Cumming with each passing year. Somebody already beat me to my perfect death wish, Damn you Buckley. I have a feeling I’m going to die and the only way people will remember me will be by a few shitty tribute montages I'm going to put out on You-Tube made by myself. Sad, but funny. I'm willing to go out in hilarious/Ironic fashion (I'm not above it).
Right now an awesome episode of Star Trek TOS is on; the episode is the second part of a two-fer called "The Menagerie". These aliens called the Talosians have the power to project Illusions into the minds of other races, they are trying to collect human for sceintific/alein purposes. Anyway I was just watching the episode and wanted to liken these tributes to this episode. These tributes project a false front of who these people are, they try to sum it up in 3 1/2 minutes of bullshit. When it's time to go to Heaven to be with Jesus and Moses and Jehovah, I want them to watch my tribute and let in the fucking pearly gates because I had a sense of humor. Sorry for the idiotic rambling, I'd just though about this stupid Idea last night when I got drunk at work.
I want to see what you badasses have in mind for your own tribute, post your tribute, song and description in the comments.
If you liked the mix flash once, if you think it sucked flash twice (Jesus, I’m going to nerd hell).

Description: I would never shoot anybody, but if I did. People who watch lost would be the first on my list. Every week on Wednesday I get together with my friends, we make dinner, bullshit about life, have a good time getting drunk off of wine, and then thay watch Lost at 10. This week I decided to make a mix for some of my friends (some of favorite songs right now). I'll give them out before I ditch the party. This way my friends get a mix, they don't feel offended that I've left and I don't have to watch that Idiotic show. Fortunately my friends have a similar taste in music. Give me any season of CYE, a blanket and I'll call it a night.

Description: In 1982 a little B-movie came out called The Sword and the Sorcerer. My Mother and Father watched this fucking piece of crap for some reason and decided to name me after the hunky hero named prince Talon. Not only did they name me after a B-movie character in a Conan the barbarian rip off flick, they spelled it wrong, it's even on my birth certificate. Yes my name is spelled Tallon. Lame ass cookies.
Just to give a little Idea of how lame this movie is, I'll give info about the movie on the tracks.

Description: Um...So this the mix I listen to on the way to church. Pop it in before you go to do what people do in church.

Description: I went to the coast with my niece the other day. It was bueatiful, windy, salty in the air. I had begen to think about the future of the planet and it bummed me out. I read this article the other day about mass extinction before we left on the trip and felt terrible for future generations who would become stewards to a uninhabitable planet. My Niece cheered me up though when she called a Seagull a Swan just to bug me.
Bassically this is a mix of fears, hopes, concerns of the future for people like my niece and well I guess everyone. I based the mix on a Carl Sagan Quotes


"We succeeded in taking that picture (from deep space), and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."
-Carl Sagan
(Excerpted from Pale Blue Dot, Based on a Photograph from Voyager 1 of the earth)

Description: I went to the coast with my niece and my gf. We meet a gaurd cat at a light house named Bonnie, walked along the coast, picked shells and rocks for my mother and listened to this mix on the way there.

Description: I made this mix for work. I put on a fake Hitler Stash and Dance and Sing Like a mad man. I think it's funny and Everybody clears out of the bar when I do.
Who's in the house. God is recongize mutha fucking Prayer Warriors. Be prepared to be saved.

Description: A Character based, 16 man tournament, Boy vs. Girl Dance off dance party. I pick my favorite random characters from whatever medium I choose and assign these characters to my friends. I pick the tracks, and score the dance off with my mother and a celebrity judge. These are the criteria’s. A point system based on costume, dancing, staying in character while dancing and flirting with the judges. The more tenacious you are the better.
Fantasy Dance fighting at its best while being included in a fantasy mix tape concept. Rock. The winner receives a shiny gold star.
These are the character cards I would hand out to my friends. They would have a few days to get their costumes together and study the character and come up with a game plan.
In no order at all it would be;

Innies: Leslie Hall, Princess Toad Stool, Maude (from Harold and Maude), Princess Lela, Sarah O’ Conner (From Terminator 2), The Bride (from Kill Bill, Hate the movies but the costumes are hot), Susie Green (CYE), and Carrie White (from Carrie, Wearing blood soaked prom dress).

Outies: Ray (Ghostbusters; outfit), Dr. Frank N. Futer, Mega man, The Dude, Conan the Barbarian, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Peter Washington (Dawn of the Dead), and Edward scissor hands.

Everyone will get a chance to “Finish Him” (the losing opponent) with a sweet dance move made up or not of their choice.

The first round is dance nasty tracks, the second being 80's themed music, having the third round being Club Dance Songs, and the final being an epic 9 min dance off battle.

Alright, FIGHT.

Description: I work at a bar called the Hong Kong. My boss is the Most Bestest man ever. He has great taste in music and all we do is talk about music, I think he has pretty much the same taste in music that I do. We talk about our favorite songs of the week. He's 30, this is my 30th mix, I thought I'd throw some of my favorite songs of the weeks on a mix. I liken this mix to going out to dinner at the olive garden. Nuff said. neehhh, nothing great but enjoy.
Just in case you might be a jackass, the picture is of Leslie Hall of Leslie and the Ly's and Mark from American Movie.

Description: I recently had breakfast with Eric (co-creator of mix tape); his Girlfriend Kim Jackson, my gf Amber and his side kick Zachy Wispy. Not one known for being the most punctual, I showed up late to b-fast, but I had a reason for being late. I made Eric and KJ two mixes for their drive back home, the first being called from here to Roseburg (exit. 19 to exit.127), and the second called From Roseburg to Corvallis (exit. 127 to exit. 228). The reasons for the mix, I wanted to give a present to my friends, Out of respect for Eric creating the MTC, He liked the compact disc when he came into my work and heard it the night before, its timed with the distances of the exits and I wanted to end it on Corvallis (Eric used to live there).
Breakfast took forever and I heard some funny shit from everybody, it was grand.
I'll try to break down our conversations in a few words, Mayonnaise Omelet, Double dragon gut punch, "MTC basically being a fantasy role playing game", sweedish fish, Krazy eyes Killa. It was great. That’s all. Cool...

Description: The 3rd part and conclusion to the Mix with No Name Trilogy (No duh!)

Fade In
Prologue

"In a land Ruled by evil, a hero is fueled by rage and driven to destiny. A loyal companion. Enemies whose evil hearts will never let them stop hunting our sexy hero. Only one sacred mix that holds the power to all time and space can set this unrest balanced. This is the Story of the mix with no name..."


2393(The era of Horror and chaos)

The earth is vastly different than we know it now (2007 the era of compliance). The sea is red and the weather is in constant turmoil. This earth of now is a terrible place with evil running amok. Tales of yore tell of the one sacred mix that can, if wield right, change the earth and save what is left of humanity. Tales tell of a chosen one whose blood line traces all the way back to this one holy mix...


2007(The era of complacence)

With the rising temperatures and the future of the earth uncertain, the United States Government funds a experimental program that has ships dumping Iron ore deposits into certain parts of the ocean(to create an algae bloom that would absorb carbon dioxide), this goes on for the better part of 2007. International shock and outrage ensues when it’s found that parts of the sea are colored permanently red and temperatures of the sea are changing.

2057(the era of self determination)


Along with political tension, the temperatures also rise, giving way to a series of secret meetings with the top scientists in varied felids. One option of a new society being created on the moon comprised of the best humans possible, physically and mentally begins to develop. It's decided that this new way of life will begin immediately. This new society of progressive thinking individuals forms with out the knowledge of most of humanity, with the different governments being the exception.
This new experiment looks promising.


2087(The era of inner turmoil)


With eco-systems failing and being destroyed, the world begins to slowly collapse. Disease and plague rip the earth apart, on top of this, information of the moon society leaks and earth is put into a world wide civil war. All Support to the moon is cut and different factions begin to form on the moon, inner turmoil causes the moon inhabitants to launch a nuclear warhead that strikes Hong Kong China, destroying land as far away as Taiwan, nuclear fall out as far as Japan and tidal waves and shock reaching the shores of the west coast, even breaking windows inland as far as Idaho. The earth not to be taken lightly the launches seven nuclear missiles, destroying the inhabitants of the moon. Unfortunately for the earthlings, the effects of this war will always be felt(the moon usually moves four meters per century, after the nuclear missiles hit, it begins to move eight meters per century, effecting the moons gravitational pull). The tidal waves that ensue after this terrible war washes away all knowledge of our history and most of humanity away. Earths satellite is forever darkened and trembling. The memories of our ancestors fade...

2393(the era of Horror and Chaos)


In this new earth, music is considered holy and all powerful for reasons dating back to 2187(the era of a new hope). Word is spread, fairytales, and myths are started centering on a mix tape that could save humanity. Two different warlike groups begin to emerge as the most powerful and influential around this time. The romantic associates (descendents of the First moon colonists); a progressive group of warriors and musicians who try spread word of the mix with no name. The zeppelins a group dedicated to being all powerful and all knowing. These groups are led by different rulers, the romantic associates being led by a chosen leader whose blood line can be traced back to the one sacred mix, while Zeppelins are led by a dictator backed by three of his most powerful warriors. For hundreds of years the earth is peaceful in an uneasy way. Like being caught the eye of a tornado (remember that scene in twister, just like that, without Helen hunt though). Soon a huge war is fought and the kingdom of Tallon the Terrible, leader of the romantic associates is destroyed. Tallon the Bad Rad, named after his grandfather, is hidden away at birth by Tallon the Terrible's most trusted friend, Jon the Sameron. Oda the leader of the Zeppelins steals the Holy Map to The sacred mix with no name, The Teresa (A 1940 martin d18 Guitar), and The Boom box of Doom. Entrusting each of these items to his most fearsome warriors. Tallon the Bad Rad eventually comes of age is told of his destiny by Jon the Sameron. Tallon is given a three bladded sword passed on from generation to generation(Oh yeah, the three-bladed sword can launch the two outer blades like missiles, Sweet). Jon teaches Tallon the Bad Rad the Warrior ways of the past Tallon's. Soon ready and trained in only a montage sequence Bryan De Palma could Direct, Tallon Fueled by Hate and desire he sets off on a quest to find the mix with no name. We find our handsome hero at the snow bluff bar just outside of the Badlands. He has been tracking the Assassin named Johnny guitar, Oda's Brother and the most feared man with a pistol (yep, guns still exist, I guess).

Description: Part 2 of the Mix with No Name Trilogy

I awoke lying on a cold surface. I stood up and saw a huge hallway as far as the eye could see supported by huge marble pillars; they were at least fifty feet high. I felt eyes starring at me, I turned to my left and Saw what I thought to be a man, but he stood twelve or thirteen feet high. His skin was a very dark olive shade and his eyes were completely black. I asked him why I was here and he spoke inside of my mind. "If you knew were HERE was, you wouldn't be before me". The giant reached out and touched my forehead with his index finger. When his finger touched, in between and right above my eyes, we were instantly transported to a different location. I stood before a giant golden scale. There was a feather on the scale and the man told me that he was going to weigh my heart against the scale. I’m not sure what happened next but I felt shock throughout my body and my own thoughts were inside of my body in a different time and place. The best way to describe what was going on, is to say I started reliving some of the pivotal moments of my life(before my death) through my own eyes. I kind of wished life was like the movies some time. "A Wonderful Life" didn't seem like such a sentimental piece of shit like I used to think. The "Clarence" in my story wasn't a humble old geezer, but a green monster who felt the need t creep the shit out of me.
This is my Memory Journal.

Description: Part 1 of the Story of the Mix with no Name


I had made a mix for the last contest but erased it. I remade it and decided that I should make it part of a trilogy. The original mix I made for contest XI is the last mix in the trilogy.
The trilogy tells the story of my death, friendship with "Lord bearded", relationship with a sixteen year old meth addict, and journey as the savior of the human race in a concept mix that is pretty stupid.

Description: I Accidently removed a mix I didn't want to.
I made a mix to have sex to. I climax when the mix ends, exactly when it ends, all the time, and everytime.
If you want to take the pepsi challenge with this mix, I'll fuck you're wife, daughter, or girlfriend to this mix and prove you wrong.
I was Really pissed off that my awesome mix I spent hours on was erased so I decided to spend a few minutes making a "JOKE" mix that would make me feel better and guess what...It DID, YAY!
Try my proven sex mix tape style of sex and it'll change your sexual adventures and erotic world.

Description: YouandMe on the site is my ex-girlfriend(check out her mixes, they fucking rock), we hadn't talked for a while until the other day, I told her I was coming up to portland and I wanted to see her but she couldn't because she hates me or something. Anyway I mad her a care package with this mix, a copy of X-men Pizza Huts limited edition night of the sentinals tape, a self portrait of my self and A neon Dare T-shirt she used to really like. Way to miss out Sarah Jane Ashland(the mix is propbably the lamest package item though).
I told her I was hurt because she didn't want to see me, of all of the turds she has and will associate with, she decides to flush me away;(

Description: I went up to portland recently with one of the bartenders named Chime I work with. We were only going to stay for the night then make the trek back home in the morning, but as always something happens and all plans become fucked.
We brought a 5th of Stoli Vodka from the bar, split it between us, stopped by the Plaid pantry and picked up 2 zima xxx's drank it and rocked it to downtown. Our first stop was to Dante's a venue/bar, I bought Chime and myself 2 shots of Milargo, he bought us two shots of Yager. We left and ditched his girlfriend and her friends. We stopped by this juice bar which is basically a strip club w/out alcohol(lame)---we tipped this dreddy stripper like 30 ones and then left to some pub down the stree, on the way to the pub a homeless man asked me for change, I was feeling generous(or drunk) so I decided to give him one whole dollar. At this point before giving that one dollar to the homeless, I had 102 dollars to last me until I came back into town the next day.
We get to this pub and I rock a manhattan with extra bitters and two cherry's(one to eat right away, save the other cherry soak up the booze), Chime drinks a Double screwdriver---When we begin to drink cocktails, we begen a a party that won't stop, or at least I was hoping that would happen. We leave this pub and make our way to Mary's strip joint(best strip club in portland besides Union Jacks). On the way to mary's we see the homeless man from earlier but with a friend know. They both ask me for a dollar, I tell the first homeless man I already gave him one, he tells me that I didn't---Then his friend ask's for a dollar. I tell the both of them to have a good night and throw two dollars to the second homeless man out of spite for the first homeless man. All of a sudden the homeless man starts to give me a big hug, he starts shaking my hand and thanking me.

Description: My girlfriend hates when I watch Maurry on her days off(because she has to watch), she doesn't know why everyone yells, and then runs off to the backstage. I think Maurry has helped heal a lot of souls and I don't what I can do to convince her but make a mix about it. I broke down my favorite themed episode.

Description: Guilty Pleasure is the name of the game with this mixx. I love making cheese cakes and listening to music, some of it is really shitty (Shhhh, don't tell anyone).
Blood oranges are a personal prefrence because they are less acidic and have a vibrant color that makes the simple presentation seem super time intensive. You can subsitute the Blood oranges for any other kind of oranges, lemons, limes, and if your feeling adventures try Lychee(use fresh whenever possible).
My old boss at the creek side pizza bistro has this expression he uses to describe a tasty dish, He says "God damn this is so good, its gonna make somebody's pussy wet or a dick hard". Make this for a lover and reap the rewards(Wink/Smile).
On the last track I also added a easy recipie for a blood orange sparkler I found on chow.com. It's tasty and it'll help push along the fuck train that'll happen after your lover takes a bite.
If you cook with love in your heart will I believe it will make a better product, It also helps if you make food while listening to awsome music(?).
The mix is as long as it takes to make the cheese cakes and drinks including prep time(estimated).

Description: I made this mixx for Rachael and for myself in a way. I was trying to explain How I started combing my hair in a different style than my usual emo boy style. It's a cross between a greaser and special agent dale cooper. So that's pretty much it. Oh Im going to make a bunch of song's that make me want to rumble, and some dedicated to rachael(because she is amazing).

Description: It was a decisive move on her part, she'd ask me to walk her home after we had a few drinks at a bar. A month later, here I am making a mix for this chick. Trapped like a spider in her evil web of sex and lies.
Seriously though, I made this mixx pretty straight forward. I have a bunch of plastic pop songs that reflect the stage of the relationship Im into now. Not that what I have is fake, It's at the point where fun can be had, and asses can shake.
A bunch of new wave in a love mix? No way. I kind of hate myself for being predictable.
So the mixx is in the time span of the first two days we spent together, the songs capture the spirit of this unholy union of the sexiest kind.
It's a simple mix, nothing to complicated or amazing.

Description: I went out and added more foes than friends when I was super duper high. Forgive me mixtape friends, I really do love you all. For the most part these are the people with the best taste in music that I keep in contact with. You don't need me to say keep up the good good work but I will anyway.

Description: Eraserhead wanted a foe mix. Here it is my favorite foe.

Description: Working in general can be tedious, but being a line cook takes the cake. It's hot, it smells and it's very stressful. The only saving grace is the free shift drink after work. Fuck the free shift meal. Who wants to eat the shit that they were cooking all day?

I made the mix so outsiders of the "Industry" can feel what it's like to work at a shitty resturaunt. It's shitty. It smells bad. I enjoy it.

Each track represents an hour of work and what Im feeling at that point in time of work.

One last thing. People like me cook your food everytime you go out to enjoy a meal with Mary jane rotten crouch or Sir Douche every day and night.

Be afraid.

Description: Never cheat on me again you slut! Thats what you get for having the guy you cheated on me with call on our 2yr anniversary.

Description: So I slept with Osborne's mother and decided to make a mix about that wonderful evening we shared underneath a bridge. I banged her on some old cardboard.
She looks a lot like my FAVORITE stand up comedian Paula Poundstone. I took a picture of her for my cover art...Then proceeded to pound the shit out of her mouth. Enjoy!

Description: This is my first mix tape for a foe I know. He will know not to mess with a guy who watches Tae-Bo while making mixes.

Description: My mix is a message to all you h8ers. YO! stop fronting dudes.

Description: Today is our two year anniversary and I feel tickled pink. I wanted to put up a quick mix for my love because I really do care. Even if she doesn't know that I do. I should start telling her that I do, when I do her.

Description: I've had a hard time forgetting certian special women in my life. I thought I might make a mixx of some really good songs that have easied the pain of a terrible break up.

Description: If you've ever wanted to seduce a hippie with skill follow my mixx of sage advise and you cannot go wrong...well maybe.

Description: Wow Im sure glad my mother and unknown father met at the bars and decided to fuck behind the Meryvins in her 76 nova. I might of been ashmed to say that my mother was impregnated behind a J.C. penny's. Thanks mom and stranger for giving birth to a total fuck-up. Anyway I only imagine that they fucked like crazy to one of these songs.

Description: Drunk jenga isn't anything new to any of us so I thought I'd make a drinking mixx for this great drinking game. Kyle has a the bad habit of picking the "drink" or "take a shot" blocks from Jenga. We took a picture of him drinking while we held up his own personlized block. DRINK UP KYLE!

Description: We had broke it off a month ago. Out of the blue she drunk dialed me and you know how these things go. We met in ashland and I stayed the week in portland deciding if I should follow my dreams, follow my heart, or follow my nose. Things went as best as they could. Im leaving back to ashland in two hours on the greyhound. Its been hard reconnecting, I've had a good time, and now I must think of the future...of mankind. We had a good time making fun of people's tributes to Jonathan brandis on youtube-we listened to great music-I cooked her some good food-We fucked like crazy highschoolers and now im going to sleep to dream about my gal...Good night moon.

Description: So here it is everybody. I've finally had a chance to sit down with my good friend Kevin Fedderereline and take this interview at the annual Houston hip hop conference in L.A. California. Kevin has just put out a cd, he's a about to have his third child(second with brittany Spears), and the future looks bright for this up and coming superstar.
T-bag: Kevin first off I just want to congragulate you on knocking up Brittany again, Im sure your children will contribute a lot to this society.
K-fed:Yeah
T-bag: Do you believe it's moral for pop icons and musical artists to use their fame to openly advocate their own personal beliefs and political views?
K-fed: yeah, it's like i been saying.
T-Bag: What exactly have you been saying?
K-fed: it's like i'ma triple threat y'all. i hit you there - i hit you here - i hit you there. it's bout the skrilla.
T-Bag: That doesn't make any sense... what is skrilla? A type of fabric?
K-fed: it's like i say on my new cd. what goes around comes back on you.
T-Bag: You're a douchebag. So... this is your mix...
K-fed: yeah, i'm fed up.

So this is the my first and only interview I've ever done. But alas here's K-feds mix Fed up

Description: right now---Im going to be late to work---I made this mixx under the assumption I would make a lot of money for it----$$$

Description: sorrry im drunk----illike thw mix toug

Description: This was a mix I made for this girl I love, but I thought she would deem the mix to be lame---so I gave up on the mix until now---I exclusively rocked this mix for the whole winter of '05---some of the tracks were subsequentialy put on a different mix I made for her called you should kill love vol 2-(the first vol was made when we started dating-it was a way to test the waters of our new relationship trough somewhat mediocre songs)

Description: first mixx tape on this page dedicated to my girl