Escape to Hell
| Escape to Hell | |
| Created by: | sledgbrainerd |
| Tracks: | 17 |
| Length: | 01:19:44 |
| Keywords |
1. Mix Contest 24 - Hell 2. Mix Contest 24 - Hell 3. Mix Contest 24 - Hell |
| Created on | 10/21/08 10:30pm |
| Level | 3 |
| Points | 1611 |
| Total visitors | 31 |
| Unique visitors | 16 |
| This mix was ranked #8 out of 8 entries for this contest | |
description:
What if you lived an absolutely pure and wholesome life with the idea of indulging in pleasure for eternity once you went to heaven? What would you say if you got to heaven and some of those pleasures were still not allowed? What would you do? WHAT would YOU do?
Well, this is the predicament facing our hero, Tan Baxter. You see, Tan, lived his life following one of those religions that didn't even allow for you to smile, let alone kiss a woman or drink something hard like 7up. He knew that it would be worth it, for when he got to heaven, he could partake in the things he always wanted desperately his whole life: Blowjobs, Booze, Smokes, and Music.
But as soon as he passed away at the ripe old age (for his religion anyway) of 58, he discovered Heaven wasnt everything it was cracked up to be.
(if you go to my mixtape thread in the forums it will tell you where to download this bad boy)
Well, this is the predicament facing our hero, Tan Baxter. You see, Tan, lived his life following one of those religions that didn't even allow for you to smile, let alone kiss a woman or drink something hard like 7up. He knew that it would be worth it, for when he got to heaven, he could partake in the things he always wanted desperately his whole life: Blowjobs, Booze, Smokes, and Music.
But as soon as he passed away at the ripe old age (for his religion anyway) of 58, he discovered Heaven wasnt everything it was cracked up to be.
(if you go to my mixtape thread in the forums it will tell you where to download this bad boy)
tracklist
| 1 | Public Image Ltd. : Religion I |
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We begin our story after our hero is already fed up with heaven. "Im Tired of croquet and grapes! Im going where I can go get my duck sucked!" Tan declares after knocking over chess game he was having with Charles Darwin. "And how do you propose you do that?" Darwin asked, "I've been trying to do that for 100 years!" "Watch Me" Tan replies with a wink. SHOW MORE
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Track 1 from First Issue
Length: 00:01:26 |
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Track Description:
We begin our story after our hero is already fed up with heaven. "Im Tired of croquet and grapes! Im going where I can go get my duck sucked!" Tan declares after knocking over chess game he was having with Charles Darwin. "And how do you propose you do that?" Darwin asked, "I've been trying to do that for 100 years!" "Watch Me" Tan replies with a wink. SHOW LESS
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| 2 | 10cc : The Second Sitting for the Last Supper |
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Tan strolled over to a large EMERGENCY EXIT door with all the usual ALARM WILL SOUND warnings and shiz. He glanced back at Darwin, who shook his head and mouthed "NO". Tan knew that everything in heaven was on the honor system. He knew if he broke that trust by opening the door, sounding the alarm, and escaping to hell, he would never be allowed back in heaven. But then he remembered there were blowjobs and smokes down there and didnt think about it ever again. He opened that fuckin door, but only after he said "Fuckin A" out loud to himself, which was the first time he had ever cursed. Tan left Darwin behind to find a new chess partner. It wasnt too hard as Strom Thurmond had been eyeballing him from across the crowd all afternoon. Word around the sky was that Strom had his CHESS-SIGHTS fixed on Darwin for awhile now. SHOW MORE
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Track 2 from Original Soundtrack
Length: 00:04:26 |
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Track Description:
Tan strolled over to a large EMERGENCY EXIT door with all the usual ALARM WILL SOUND warnings and shiz. He glanced back at Darwin, who shook his head and mouthed "NO". Tan knew that everything in heaven was on the honor system. He knew if he broke that trust by opening the door, sounding the alarm, and escaping to hell, he would never be allowed back in heaven. But then he remembered there were blowjobs and smokes down there and didnt think about it ever again. He opened that fuckin door, but only after he said "Fuckin A" out loud to himself, which was the first time he had ever cursed. Tan left Darwin behind to find a new chess partner. It wasnt too hard as Strom Thurmond had been eyeballing him from across the crowd all afternoon. Word around the sky was that Strom had his CHESS-SIGHTS fixed on Darwin for awhile now. SHOW LESS
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| 3 | Dead Meadow : At the Edge of the Wood |
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Tan soon realized his escape to hell wasnt going to be difficult at all. After he passed through the emergency exit door, there was no alarm and there was a sign that said "TO HELL" and had an arrow pointing down the long spiral staircase. Upon closer inspection Tan noticed some graffiti on the bottom right hand corner of the sign that read "SHIT YEAH! - J.R. CASH" Tan started his descent. SHOW MORE
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Track 3 from Dead Meadow
Length: 00:03:36 Year: 2001 |
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Track Description:
Tan soon realized his escape to hell wasnt going to be difficult at all. After he passed through the emergency exit door, there was no alarm and there was a sign that said "TO HELL" and had an arrow pointing down the long spiral staircase. Upon closer inspection Tan noticed some graffiti on the bottom right hand corner of the sign that read "SHIT YEAH! - J.R. CASH" Tan started his descent. SHOW LESS
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| 4 | PJ Harvey : The Whores Hustle and the Hustlers Whore |
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On his way down the staircase he ran into a demon, who jumped up when he saw Tan coming. "You didnt happen to prop that door up there open did ya?" Inquired the demon. "Uh no. I'm sorry." Tan said, "Have you tried just opening it? Im pretty sure everything is on the honor system up there." "Yeah....locked..." The demon sat back down with his face in his hands. Then without looking up he said, "You escaping too? You better do something bad on the way down cuz they are kinda picky on who they let in. The line has like a 2 hour wait." Tan nodded and continued on his way. "Cool, thanks a lot, Mr....." "Demon. Mr. Demon. I know. Yes that's my real name." "Ok, well thanks again Mr. Demon." Tan waved as he wondered down the stairs. SHOW MORE
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Track 4 from Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea
Length: 00:04:00 |
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Track Description:
On his way down the staircase he ran into a demon, who jumped up when he saw Tan coming. "You didnt happen to prop that door up there open did ya?" Inquired the demon. "Uh no. I'm sorry." Tan said, "Have you tried just opening it? Im pretty sure everything is on the honor system up there." "Yeah....locked..." The demon sat back down with his face in his hands. Then without looking up he said, "You escaping too? You better do something bad on the way down cuz they are kinda picky on who they let in. The line has like a 2 hour wait." Tan nodded and continued on his way. "Cool, thanks a lot, Mr....." "Demon. Mr. Demon. I know. Yes that's my real name." "Ok, well thanks again Mr. Demon." Tan waved as he wondered down the stairs. SHOW LESS
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| 5 | The Black Angels : Young Men Dead |
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Tan racked his brain trying to figure out what he should do to get accepted into hell. He thought hard about what he always believed people who needed to be saved looked like when he was alive. All of a sudden it came to him. He unzipped his fly and pulled his penis out so that it hung free out of his pants. Then he tore his shirt and made a little sling so that his arm looked broken. He shat his pants. Then he masturbated (something else he had never done before and which took some figuring out on his part) and rubbed the resulting semen in his hair. He figured he was ready. He hoped there might be a chance to sin in a major way on the way down. SHOW MORE
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Track 5 from Passover
Length: 00:05:32 Year: 2006 |
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Track Description:
Tan racked his brain trying to figure out what he should do to get accepted into hell. He thought hard about what he always believed people who needed to be saved looked like when he was alive. All of a sudden it came to him. He unzipped his fly and pulled his penis out so that it hung free out of his pants. Then he tore his shirt and made a little sling so that his arm looked broken. He shat his pants. Then he masturbated (something else he had never done before and which took some figuring out on his part) and rubbed the resulting semen in his hair. He figured he was ready. He hoped there might be a chance to sin in a major way on the way down. SHOW LESS
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| 6 | Triumph of Lethargy Skinned Alive to Death : Tach Piano/Paris |
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He could tell he was getting close because he was starting to hear the sounds of many people shouting. As he approached the line, he started to get nervous that he hadn't sinned enough to get in. In an act of desperation he yelled "Anyone want me to perform sex acts on them please?" Everyone in line raised their hands. Thats when Tan got an idea: "All I ask in return is that i get the spot in front of you in line!" That way, you know, he'd be killing two birds with one stone. Everyone in line looked at each other and shrugged as if to say "That sounds fair to me." Before he knew it Tan was about to make it into hell after having literally sucked himself to the front of the line. SHOW MORE
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Track 6 from Old Jail
Length: 00:08:36 Year: 2008 |
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Track Description:
He could tell he was getting close because he was starting to hear the sounds of many people shouting. As he approached the line, he started to get nervous that he hadn't sinned enough to get in. In an act of desperation he yelled "Anyone want me to perform sex acts on them please?" Everyone in line raised their hands. Thats when Tan got an idea: "All I ask in return is that i get the spot in front of you in line!" That way, you know, he'd be killing two birds with one stone. Everyone in line looked at each other and shrugged as if to say "That sounds fair to me." Before he knew it Tan was about to make it into hell after having literally sucked himself to the front of the line. SHOW LESS
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| 7 | Odd Nosdam : 11th Ave. Freakout Pt. 2 |
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The second he stepped foot into Hell, Tan knew that that is where he belonged. There was everything a fun-neglected man could want. It looked like the inside of a casino. Grand Theft Auto on big screens. Naked slutty chicks everywhere. Blunts the size of a toilet paper tube. Everyone was drinking 40's. It was amazing. The first thing he wanted to do was get his hand on some smoke and some drink. SHOW MORE
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Track 7 from Burner
Length: 00:04:06 Year: 2005 |
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Track Description:
The second he stepped foot into Hell, Tan knew that that is where he belonged. There was everything a fun-neglected man could want. It looked like the inside of a casino. Grand Theft Auto on big screens. Naked slutty chicks everywhere. Blunts the size of a toilet paper tube. Everyone was drinking 40's. It was amazing. The first thing he wanted to do was get his hand on some smoke and some drink. SHOW LESS
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| 8 | Amon Tobin : Verbal (Topo Gigio Remix) |
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The bartender happened to be Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. Steve handed tan a 40 oz bottle of Olde English and gave him a slap in the mouth. Tan requested some smokes, but unfortunately all Steve had was menthol cigarettes. "This IS Hell dont forget..." The Croc hunter reminded Tan. Tan settled for the menthols. Next on his agenda was where all the crazy sex happened. SHOW MORE
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Track 8 from Verbal Remixes & Collaborations
Length: 00:03:59 Year: 2003 |
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Track Description:
The bartender happened to be Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. Steve handed tan a 40 oz bottle of Olde English and gave him a slap in the mouth. Tan requested some smokes, but unfortunately all Steve had was menthol cigarettes. "This IS Hell dont forget..." The Croc hunter reminded Tan. Tan settled for the menthols. Next on his agenda was where all the crazy sex happened. SHOW LESS
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| 9 | Fog : 10th Ave. Freakout |
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"Hey Where the fuckin at?" asked Tan to a random dude. "In there." The guy pointed at a door. Tan recognized the guy. It was Andy Dick. "I didnt know you were dead!" Tan shouted. Andy Dick pushed him up against the wall and looked around. Quietly he said "Im not. Dont ruin this for me!" He then licked the side of Tan's face and pulled out his boner. Tan ran in the door where all the fuckin's at and that was that. SHOW MORE
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Track 9 from 10th Avenue Freakout
Length: 00:00:51 Year: 2005 |
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Track Description:
"Hey Where the fuckin at?" asked Tan to a random dude. "In there." The guy pointed at a door. Tan recognized the guy. It was Andy Dick. "I didnt know you were dead!" Tan shouted. Andy Dick pushed him up against the wall and looked around. Quietly he said "Im not. Dont ruin this for me!" He then licked the side of Tan's face and pulled out his boner. Tan ran in the door where all the fuckin's at and that was that. SHOW LESS
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| 10 | 90 Day Men : Chronological Disorder |
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Inside the fuckin' room there were bodies everywhere. One giant mound of sex. Pulsing and grunting. In front of the giant mound was a stage where THE REAL AXEL ROSE performed some bizarre songs. The following tracks are those songs. SHOW MORE
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Track 10 from Panda Park
Length: 00:06:03 |
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Track Description:
Inside the fuckin' room there were bodies everywhere. One giant mound of sex. Pulsing and grunting. In front of the giant mound was a stage where THE REAL AXEL ROSE performed some bizarre songs. The following tracks are those songs. SHOW LESS
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| 11 | Mogwai : Scotland's Shame |
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Tan jumped into the mound head first. He never left the mound ever.
SHOW MORE
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Track 11 from The Hawk is Howling
Length: 00:08:02 Year: 2008 |
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Track Description:
Tan jumped into the mound head first. He never left the mound ever. SHOW LESS
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| 12 | Morphine : Like a Mirror |
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He fucked everything.
SHOW MORE
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Track 12 from The Night
Length: 00:05:26 Year: 2000 |
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Track Description:
He fucked everything. SHOW LESS
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| 13 | Brazzaville : 1963 |
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He fucked forever.
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Track 13 from Brazzaville
Length: 00:06:29 |
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Track Description:
He fucked forever. SHOW LESS
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| 14 | Golden : the Quim Adjuster |
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Girls. Guys. Demons. Animals. The floor on occasion. It didnt matter to Tan.
SHOW MORE
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Track 14 from Golden
Length: 00:04:14 |
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Track Description:
Girls. Guys. Demons. Animals. The floor on occasion. It didnt matter to Tan. SHOW LESS
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| 15 | David Bowie : Andy Warhol |
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Yep he even fucked Andy Warhol. And Hunter S. Thompson. And John Ritter.
SHOW MORE
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Track 15 from Hunky Dory
Length: 00:03:58 Year: 1971 |
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Track Description:
Yep he even fucked Andy Warhol. And Hunter S. Thompson. And John Ritter. SHOW LESS
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| 16 | Masters of Reality : The Ballad of Jody Frosty |
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The End?
SHOW MORE
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Track 16 from Give Us Barabbas
Length: 00:07:30 |
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Track Description:
The End? SHOW LESS
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| 17 | Richard Cheese : Badd |
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Moral of the Story: You might as well fuck now, cuz thats all you are gonna want to do once you are dead. SHOW MORE
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Track 17 from The Sunny Side of the Moon
Length: 00:01:30 |
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Track Description:
Moral of the Story: You might as well fuck now, cuz thats all you are gonna want to do once you are dead. SHOW LESS
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Tag Board
The Level 15 Badge
For a late entry this is very hot, sweaty, bad and ballsy (or is that meaty beaty big and bouncy). I'll second johnny_luddite on his favoring the 10cc track. For a hell mix, this is very inspirational (where do I sign up?).
10/22/08 3:40pm
Team Robot Member
Well suck a duck! Great use of that 10CC track which is actually an old favorite of mine I forgot about. When they left the cheese behind and turned up instead with the witty lyrics and the nice chord changes they could be ok!
10/22/08 2:30pm
The MLK Badge
I always find it difficult to make good transitions to or from PJ Harvey, but I can imagine that Dead Meadow works nicely. Scotland's Shame is such a nice track off Mogwai's latest.
10/22/08 12:29am
