Description: On February 8th 2008, I sent the following mix to a real live girl. I was sort of nervous. What if she thought it was a bit too forward? Luckily, thats the sort of thing Valentine's Day is good for. I wanted to fill it with mostly stuff she hadnt heard before (if possible) but also have it be good and fit everything I wanted to say. It took a month of sifting through all my music and remaking the mix over and over again, but I was and still am happy with how it came out.

Im glad to say that when the mix arrived on Feb. 14th, the reaction went far better than I planned also. So there you go kids. Dreams do come true. And also, it doesnt hurt to put a lot of time into creating mixtapes either.

Description: This is for the Halloween Parties like the ones me & my boiz used to throw back in the day where everyone would get really hammered. Thats it and thats all.

The tracks were chosen for many different reasons mostly because they possessed a creepy/fun/drunk tone.

Three mike patton songs! Yes!

You can go to my thread in the forum (if anyone even still goes there) and find out where to download this sucka!

Description: What if you lived an absolutely pure and wholesome life with the idea of indulging in pleasure for eternity once you went to heaven? What would you say if you got to heaven and some of those pleasures were still not allowed? What would you do? WHAT would YOU do?

Well, this is the predicament facing our hero, Tan Baxter. You see, Tan, lived his life following one of those religions that didn't even allow for you to smile, let alone kiss a woman or drink something hard like 7up. He knew that it would be worth it, for when he got to heaven, he could partake in the things he always wanted desperately his whole life: Blowjobs, Booze, Smokes, and Music.

But as soon as he passed away at the ripe old age (for his religion anyway) of 58, he discovered Heaven wasnt everything it was cracked up to be.

(if you go to my mixtape thread in the forums it will tell you where to download this bad boy)

Description: Here it is.

I attempted to still make it an actual mix that flows together well, and i think i pretty much succeeded. Yesssssss.

Look in my mix thread in the forums for where to download this sucka.

Description: Well, my friends, I held off for a long time, but I now am posting a "For a Girl" mix.

Here is a mix I made for the one with which I am smitten with.

I already gave it to her. I made the cover art also. Thats not all of it, but its enough of it.

Description: I need to get out of LA in a serious way. Just for a few days i think. Its been so long since I have left its haze of smog and mental retardation.

Honestly, do people even have to test for driver's licenses here?

Anyways, Here is what my DREAM vacation would consist of.

Me, and all of the different sections or "towns" or "cities" or whatever that make up Los Angeles will go to my personal island.

The plan? Give back to Los Angeles for everything its done for me. Oh, and toss that shit in the ocean where it belongs.

Description: There are a lot of bands that, at a certain point in time, I was really "into". Many of these I would later become disenchanted with for one reason or another.

I still enjoy some of their tunes though, even though I consider them dead to me. These are the songs that "have stood the test of time", even if I think the bands are not very cool anymore.

Please keep in mind that the reason why I dont think these bands are cool anymore is based on an equation, D(EFRO) - (KIRF - MS) = DISENCHANTMENT Level. Thats Douchebaggery times my Excitement For Recent Output minus my Music Snobbery subtracted from the bands Keepin It Real Factor. If the Disenchantment Level is more than 100, Ill still listen to their new albums once, but Ill download it instead of buying it. Over 500? Not a chance Ill even look at the new albums cover.

Not to sound snobby, because Im really not, but sometimes when you are done with a band, you are done with a band.

Description: There were a lot of steps I took to get where I am at. I'm talking about taste in music here. Im gonna take you through my history with music. We are gonna make many stops on this little trip through time.

Description: The cover is a picture of a man's super soaker collection. He owns every model super soaker ever made. There are so many in the picture that I had to crop some of them out. I had a super soaker once. My little brother had one too. To make sure he couldnt get me back, I broke his and then sprayed him point blank in the face. If I am ever rich, I hope to make up for this by buying him a giant house with a giant soaker attached so that he can nail me whenever Im coming over to play video games. He has like every video game ever, which is awesome. He only plays RPG's though, which makes me a sad panda. Chrono Trigger kicks ass. Anyway, Did you ever notice how weird of a word "SOAKER" is?


MD 20/20 aka (Mad Dog) is an American fortified wine produced by Mogen David wineries. MD 20/20 has an alcohol content that varies by flavor from 13% to 18% (with most of the 18% varieties discontinued, although Red Grape is widely available from the 18% category). The "MD" stands for "Mogen David," the name of the company based in Westfield, New York which makes it; the company is named after the Star of David, which is spoken as "Magen David" in the Hebrew language. Experienced drinkers of the product tended to give the term of endearment of "Mad Dog" to represent the initials "MD". At colleges it is often traditional for fraternities to "Mad Dog" prospective recruits by knocking on their door at day break and forcing him to drink the bottle quickly. It is known for its pleasant high and painful after effects, but also a rite of passage. (from wikipedia)


What is all of this about you ask?

A proposition. For you, the MTC-ers. Now just hear me out.

An all-out capture the flag type Supersoaker war. We fill the Soakers up with MD 20/20 and spray each other. One team can be grape flavored and the other can be lime. The losers at the end of each five minute round have to finish a bottle of Mad Dog before the next round can start. The winners are determined by the judges, who will be Mr. Littlejeans, Bo Jackson, and Kronk from Emperor's New Groove. At the end of 9 rounds, the overall losers must finish a bottle each, and then burn their captain on a grill and serve him to the winning team. The winning team will dine on loser flesh and be presented with the classic post-apocolyptic film, 2020 Texas Gladiators. (http://www.bear dyfreak.com/rvtexas.php)


Here are the songs for each section of this war.

Description: Summer is my favorite. Yeah its hot as hades which can get heinous at times, but during this time of the year I always want to go fishing and drink lots of bears (or beers even). I have never fished though. So here is what would happen if I did actually fish. I would bring a little battery powered boom box, and 30 pack of Tecate, Mr. Littlejeans, and because I dont know anyone in LA that fishes, my new-met-off-craigs-list-friend, Miguel. I guess he isnt technically a friend since I have to pay him 10 dollars an hour to fish with me.

Anyweigh, Here is our trip:

Description: About a month ago I was searching through the VHS at the local Goodwill (on Vine and Lexington, I think) and I came across a movie entitled "Wedding at a Funeral". It was some z-grade comedy with no stars and I could not find a director credit anywhere. Based on the artwork alone, I decided to gamble my 2.99 on this tape.

The story goes like this:
An old rich man passes away. His son, a bigtime partier finds out that his dad's will stipulates that if he is not married by the time the first shovel full of dirt falls on his coffin, he gets nothing. Why? Well, I guess that is something that the filmmakers decided to leave up to your imagination. Kind of like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, or like the jokes in Little Man. I decided the reason was that the old man wanted his son to marry some shallow money obsessed bitch for lots of money.

"She'd be kind of llike Michelle Pfeifer in Scarface but crazier..." The old man would say to himself with a grin on his face, while he counted his millions .

But I digress. The plot of this movie is basically Billy Madison but instead of school, it's dating.

Oh by the way, this movie is absolutely preposterous on an awesome way.

This is my soundtrack to the key scenes in the film...

Description: I am a big fan of visiting the desert. A while back, I went to Joshua Tree with some class mates. It was an absolute blast. The thing I love about the desert is the feeling of being able to do whatever you want. Absolute freedom. Plus, at night, that sky will bring a tear to anyone's eye. This is a mix for the stretch of Highway 10 before you are surrounded by giant Windmills and Beautiful Mountains. The shitty part of the drive. This is the mix to transport us from the bile of the city to the beauty of the desert.

Description: I wonder how many Road Head related accidents there are every year. I also wonder what the most common car in road head related accidents is. I bet its something fancy. I also wonder how many road head related accidents also involve cocaine. I guess you can say I'm a fan of stats, I am.

Description: Here is my part of the conversation through mix with my buddy Tal Pal.

Description: This is a loveletter to my favorite stripper in the whole world....Rivets. I have seen her naked like 100 times. Eric doesn't like her though. His favorite is one named Ivy.

Description: This is the sequel to my award-winning mix about how I spend too much money on music.

Description: Here is a mix for Eric and Corey to listen to while they solve the mystery.

Description: It's Blue Velvet's 21st Birthday and look who came to the party! Frank Booth! On his insistence, we will be rocking to the sounds of the year 2007 all night long!

So bring plenty of Pabst (cold), and whatever you do, DON'T FUCKING LOOK at Frank.

Description: I, sledgbrainerd, used to live in a house with Eric, our friend Wispy (aka Zakky Wispaz), and Jon Raby (w/ his fucking disgusting zombie dog named Scooter). We called this house LAZERBEAMS. In the downstairs part of this house, there was a bar. Next to the bar was a garage that we had decked out in a beach theme, and the garage was referred to as SMOKEY BEACH. We smoked cigarettes in Smokey Beach. We drank a lot at Lazerbeams. We would by half-gallons of Rothschild 100 Proof vodka, call up some ladies, get wasted, and hopefully get a hummer in one of our two disgusting bathrooms. We had a couch next to the bar that we counted 14 people boned on.

This mix, however are for all of the nights we couldn't get any ladies to come over. Lord Bearded and I would get wasted, complain about chicks, and dance our asses off. Then Tallon (aka T-Bag) or Wispy would come hang out and dance with us. I would usually black out and wake up on the Blue Sex Couch with Wispy passed out next to me and our Die Hard With a Vengeance tape playing on the TV.

Be carefull while listening to this though, as I still have a bad ankle from one of these nights.

Grab some Rothschild, some PBR, and some groove on.


RIP LAZERBEAMS!

Description: Here is a mix I have been working on for awhile. The title comes from the fact that there are two versions of the song entitled "Big Takeover" on the mix. The [amazing] original is by Bad Brains [Good Version], and the [amazing] cover is by John Frusciante [Junkie Version].

I think everyone should enjoy this mix as there is something on here for all tastes and it all flows together amazingly well if I do say so myself.

Oh, and BTW, I think this might be in the Top 3 of mixes I've EVER made.

Description: When I die, I plan to have my brain frozen. It will be re-animated when the day comes where they can put human brains inside robot bodies. This mix is to be frozen with my brain, for me to listen to when fighting for earth in the (unavoidable) war between earth and the moon.

It is 2393 and World War 14 is winding down. I have been sent on a suicide mission to drive a Trojan unicorn filled with Fromage Explosives into the lobby of the moon's main Intelligence base. An intelligence base famous for employing MOON ZOMBIES! I give my special ROBO lady the sweetest smooch that has ever technologically been accomplished, tell her I'm gonna go have some brews with the boys and I'm off. I leave my final check from the now-fully-automated NASA under her pillow. Tom Cruise bless her sweet stainless steel heart.

Description: Like Roberto Benigni, I too love all yall's. Each song was selected with someone in mind, either from real life or from MTC.

This mix as a whole is dedicated to my Nintendo Wii, which is the best/worst thing to happen to my arms since my discovery of masturbation.

Description: Sometimes I just need to be alone. Especially so in the new town I'm living in. Sometimes I just need to be a sad bastard. A side effect of sleep deprivation, I think.


This is for the days where you don't get out of bed.

Description: I tend to get up at 5:30 for School/Work.

This sucks cuz:
1. It's Dark
2. It's Cold
3. I drink with friends till the early hours quite often
4. My morning wood doesnt go away for almost 3 hours of my morning
5. The other day I saw a homeless man(?) passed out in the elevator in my parking garage with his weiner hangin out

There are also good things about being up that early, even if it is only a few:
1. No Rush Hour Traffic
2. Lots of parking spots
3. Lots of Trannies taking the "Walk of Shame".
4. Filming Porn in the middle of the 101 freeway is legal in Hollywood from 5:45 am to 6:00 am

This is a mix for these mornings (every morning).

Description: Despite this being more of a list contest than a mix contest, I tried to make my tape flow like a regular mix.

Description: I like to listen to music in the shower. I recently found an old mix that I listened to back in 2001. The first half was music for showering during summer, when its warm and happy out. The second half is for winter when its cold, dark, and miserable. The shower is the point in the day when you can ignore all outside happenings and relax. Cooler water during summer, hot water during winter is how I do it.

I also like to sing. Im not afraid to say it. So Im inlcuding a mix that I made a couple of years ago, for singing along to. I feel for anyone in my house at these times.

1-6: Summer
7--11: Winter
12-19: SING!

Description: This mix doesnt really have a theme. Its just a really good mix I made. I listen to it while I drive, Edit, Clean my room, etc.

Description: I have a special place in my heart for 90's rap. Mostly early 90's rap. Here are my favorites. Im going for more gangster-ish shit, so I don't want to hear anything about Tribe Called Quest or the Beastie Boys.

Description: I have made several of these types of things already, but here is my version of an "Instructional Video" but as a mix. If you want to enhance this experience even further, I recommend Baron Rothschild 100 Proof Vodka for both (all?) parties involved.

Instructions:
1-6 = Makeout/Foreplay
7 = Transition
8-13 = SEXXXXXXXX
14 = Enlightenment/Regret


Get it on!

Description: All of these guys are old or dead. They are fucking badass.


In more pathetic news, I had to enter 15 out of the 21 tracks into the database. I can totally understand why no one listens to these guys. Its not like they are legends or anything.

Description: First things first. This chain works on repeat. The last song is connected to the first.

There are many connections made on here that couldve been done in one move instead of, say, 10. But whats the fun in that? I wanted to show how dense the web of connections was, not just that they were connected. Everyone knows you could easily connect The Melvins to Nirvana in one move. I could have done QOTSA to Mastodon in one move. Etc. Etc. But there is more than just one way that bands are connected...

Description: I Buy too much music. Here is a mix made entirely out of my newer music acquisitions, some of which didnt find a place on this particular mix:
Within the last month I have PURCHASED:

Earth - Hex
Mason Jennings - Boneclouds
Tortoise - A Lazarus Taxon
The Kronos Quartet - Cadenza on the Night Plain
(the) Melvins - (a) Senile Animal
Mastodon - Blood Mountain
Mars Volta - Amputechture (shut up eric)
Bonnie "Prince" Billy - The Letting Go
Red Sparowes - Every Red Heart Shines Toward The Sun
TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
Boris - Dronevil Final
Hella - Acoustics
Comets on Fire - Field Recordings From the Sun
Ratatat - Classics
Thelonious Monk - Brilliant Corners
Thelonious Monk w/ John Coltrane - s/t
M. Ward - Post War
Jaga Jazzist - What We Must
The Cinematic Orchestra - Every Day
Lou Reed - Berlin
Lou Reed - Transformer
The Black Keys - Magic Potion
Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat
The Cassettes - 'Neath the Pale Moon
The PoPo - s/t
Icarus Line/Ink & Dagger - split 7"
Icarus Line - Red & Black Attack
Beck - The Information
Subtle - For Hero: For Fool
Isis & Aerogramme - In the Fishtank 14
Sunn0))) & Boris - Altar
These Arms Are Snakes - Easter

Those are just the ones I paid MONEY for. Some of these I have had for a while, but I recently purchased the CD to support the band. If I download something early, I feel like its a commitment to buy the album when it comes out, regardless of how I feel about it, even if im less than thrilled on it (see: Tool - 10000 days).

Description: In the fight between the monsters and the robots, there was one android who changed the course of history. A robot known only as The Demon Robot From Outer Space (or DR-FOS). This android's John Connor-like leadership lead the robots to victory over the monsters, forever distinguishing themselves as the superior race upon planet earth. This is that story.

Description: This is a mix that I gave a Cyborgian Gigolo named Robo-Nude. He used to use it while he serviced his "clients" to put them in the mood. He told me that that the song selection was horribly miscalculated and that his clientelle hated it. While it may not be good for makin love to cyborgs, I found it to be pretty rad for everything else. Robo-Nude's loss is our gain.


PS. He wanted my help in making him a new one, I gave him my Wake, Make, Make, Take, Make Love mix.

Description: Something that not a whole lot of people know about me is that I go through months-long bouts of depression pretty regularly. Nothing in particular gets me down, but everything does. Over time Ive figured out ways to not think about it as much. Yes, music helps.

So this is for when you are feeling the general, everything sucks, whiney blues.



PS. I know that I have used a few of these already.

Description: I made a mix a few years back that I wanted to update and post. All songs are 2 min. or less. I am quite proud of how it turned out. The first half is meant to be a sort of background music, with the second half taking up more of your attention. If people like it I will make it available for download. This mix is dedicated to those with short attention spans.

On a side note,I have found that this mix works great for driving. However, it was made for use with anything really.

Description: This contest allowed for some interesting decisions on my part. A lot of people on this mix I wouldn't ever think to put on the same mix with some of the others. Or on any mix, for that matter.

Description: This is a mix I made for walking home in the morning after drinking all night and passing out at random peoples houses. It usually takes about an hour to about an hour and 15 minutes to get home from downtown. It would only take about 40 minutes, but I always stop at Giseppis and get a slice of pizza and lolligag all over the place.

Im gonna be moving to LA in a two days, so I will actually post a link to this mix when I get settled there.

It starts out mellow, goes into elctro/funky stuff, into rockin socks off, into fun/silly tunes. Enjoy.

Description: This mix is based on Mathew McConaughey's personal philosophy, which I have seen him describe many times as "JUST KEEP LIVIN'". He even named his production company "J.K. Livin Productions". I assume the J.K. doesnt stand for Just Kidding. So here is my mix about it. From the depths of despair to rocking it as hard as you can despite everything else. J.K. Livin, man, J.K. Livin.

Description: Whenever my girl's friends are around (at my house, at the bar, in my town, etc.), I rely on music to keep me from stabbing myself in the heart on purpose with a steak knife. Since none of these people know any music that isnt the Black Eyed Peas, they always make comments about how the music is "ARTSY" or "OUT THERE", so it is fun for me to make up all sorts of lies about the music that is playing. Then I get too drunk and make everyone watch THEY LIVE! because it is the best movie ever. There is usually a comment from them that sounds like this:

"I would rather listen to your wierdo music than this crappy movie."

to which I reply:

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

This mix is sequenced to horrify and confuse the "lesser" people who stumble around this earth, somehow living on their own, without supervision or anything. The descriptions will be lies about each band. Since I am telling YOU these lies, I guess that means I'm treating you like one of my girlfriends lame-ass friends, doesn't it? Get out of my house.

Description: A mix for driving fast. Really Fast. Like Vin Diesel Fast.

Description: Im hungover from the fourth. This is a mix I made to make myself feel better. On a side note, I got pulled over by the police last night for JAYWALKING. Yup, Im str8 Gangsta.

Description: This is for those days off where you enjoy the intoxicating feeling of doddling. Completely content. You make good lovin' to that someone special and relax to the grooves on this mix. You feel drunk with your mellowness.

Description: This is for when you have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and No one to talk to. Come on. It's cold outside. Just go into your neighborhood pub and everything will be alright. Untill you start thinking. And feeling sorry for yourself.


On a side note- These are all songs I've seen/played on a jukebox in bars. I wanted this to be music you would really hear at these places. This should be played on repeat untill they cut you off.

Description: This mix is for when you realize you are not going to be getting off of the toilet anytime soon, and you need something that feels your pain and will help you "fight the good fight".

Description: This is for when you invite your "drug friends" over, you guys shoot/snort/smoke it up, and get it on right there on the stained floor while public access plays on the TV.

Description: Sitting in the Sun without sunscreen, drinking brews and talking to babes.

Description: This for blowing away the competition. No matter what "the competition" is.

Description: This is for drivin' chicks around in your pimped out ride, goin' to parties, and then giving more chicks rides around.

Description: This is a soundtrack to an unmade movie called FEAR KILLER. It's a psychological thriller/action flick where Jean Claude Van Damme plays the bad guy!