Bittersweet. Thats probably what describes the whole event of her leaving off to Germany. Half of me wants her to go and to learn and grow even more in the Lord without me to distract her and the other half wants me to go buy a ticket right now and surprise her. I know that will never be. There really is no words to be able to express how proud I am of her to do this. Going out on her own again without me. (ha I can say that pridefully) with so much more responsibility upon her shoulders. I cant wait to see the Lord just work in her abundantly. I love her to death this much is true. It took the majority of my will to pull myself away from her as she was leaving to her gate. She never looked so beautiful right then, I guess it was just my mind telling me "there she goes, you better catch the best glimpse that you can while you have the chance to see her in person, because for the next four months its just pictures and emails, letters and phone calls, mixtapes and voicemails." I care for her more than any other person in this world, past, present, and future. You know that for sure when you realize yourself for the first time this is not wishful thinking, but honestly you can say that not being with her would cast you to no one else." that is the honest truth. Every memory that I can muster there (in Germany) she is in the background and the forefront. Being there for me even when we were just mere acquaintances. I miss that so much. So what is my job now? Well to start working day to day. I all ready started saving for something, I know you have the right idea. The Lord is going to do something amazing between us, I know for sure. the strength is in the suffering. Devotion therefore demands pain as a payment. Christ you have it all she is yours again. Protect her little heart, as you guide mine during these months amen.
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This mixtape is the result...mostly this is therapeutic to me regarding the whole situation. Its mainly acoustic and folky but thats what warms my heart instead of pumping it up. I think it does a good job relaying my emotions. I have been really working hard on my TRANSITIONS so if you guys could give some feedback for that Id appreciate it.
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This is for a 90 minutes tape with the break at the Great Lake Swimmers at the first track on Side B
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Thats lame if you want to make a 90 minute mixtape and all you have is eighty minutes for your tracks, thats something they need to change.
My last two tracks were:
Over the pond by the Album leaf
and the breakdown (featuring jack johnson) by Handsome Boy Modeling School/ as the closer.